Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
