I got her a Nickelback box set.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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