you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
