How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
