Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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