called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
