this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
