yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
