Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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