I accidentally had phone sex last night
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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