just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
