My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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