and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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