I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
