hotel room ftw
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Omg I joined a choir last night...
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
