Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
