I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
whose parrot is this?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
