Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
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