dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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