So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
