Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Randomize
