yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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