i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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