how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
