her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
