i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
