Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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