just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
