I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize