Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
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