I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I wish you could order shots online.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
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