How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize