2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
i came on her dog
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
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