i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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