Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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