Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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