Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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