you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
