question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
