Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
time to smoke my breakfast
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
