I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize