I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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