My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
