last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
