I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
