garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
