the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
