wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
