Sorry, I don't speak sober.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
