he shaved USA in his pubs
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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