Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
