Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
