butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
