these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
