My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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