She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Just high enough for therapy.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
