Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Randomize
