Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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