Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Just high enough for therapy.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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