I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize