lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
