I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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