Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
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I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Threesome in a minivan. New low
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
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Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
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