he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
