She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
