she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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