so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Randomize
