im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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