I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
